Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
