My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
