there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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