Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
