What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
