just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
