Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
