This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
