worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
