ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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