Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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