If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
