Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
