Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
