What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
she peed on how many people?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
