she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
