Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
