I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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