Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
