I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
