There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
