Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He better not be in your backpack
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
