Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
