Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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