This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
