so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
