I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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