I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
