meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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