You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
