So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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