just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
