I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm bleeding and have questions
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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