Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
