Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
should my penis look like a turkey
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
