why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
