there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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