Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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