girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
