One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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