I wish I only lived at night.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
