Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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