ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
