wakey wakey hands off snakey
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
