Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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