that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Boobs are out for the taking
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
