I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
