I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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