happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
