apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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